My Stories

Stories of suicide and priest abuse, really? you wonder. How heartbreaking. How depressing, you might say. But, wait. Inside such tales shine the brightest of silver linings: resilience and survival and, in the best of cases, some sort of justice.

Writing and life are about paying attention and making connections: to and with the world, to and with others, to and with self.

Here you will find works-in-progress, hard stories of tragic loss and reckoning, of secrets undisclosed and discovered, after the fact.

Where to begin?

Isn’t that always the question? For writers, artists, anyone who creates anything? I think of Twyla Tharpe’s brilliant book, The Creative Habit. She walks into a white room. And the dance begins.

Here’s one place, with my recent article published in The Daily Beast, July 18, 2021:

A Widow’s Hunt for the Priest Who Preyed on Her Husband

Where to begin? “You have too much material,” one of my Bennington MFA mentors once told me. “Good and bad,” he said. “A problem I wish I had, but what to do with it all?” This last of these questions, probably not his but my own.

Here’s an article about my quest for truth, published July 29, 2021, in VT Digger; this includes a podcast interview with me produced by journalist, David Goodman, for Vermont Conversation:

Vermont Conversation: A widow’s quest for truth

Where to begin?

Here, I begin, closer to the conclusion, which ends with a harrowing truth as well as a family’s reckoning.

And yet, the telling is its own beginning:

Two years ago, I set out on a mission, pestered by a hunch, in search of a probable truth and possible contributing cause of my late husband’s suicide. The brief background story here–to be detailed later–is that Peter took his own life by drowning in the Huntington Gorge when our four children were four and three years, and 19 and 2 months old.

On this mission, secret to all but a best friend and my partner, I journeyed first to the scene of the crime: Archbishop Stepinac Catholic High School in White Plains, New York. There, the principal–also a fellow alum of my late husband, class of ’79, a Father Thomas Collins–hid from me. I reached a second dead end, literally, upon my arrival at the Hampton address of Peter’s alleged perpetrator, a Father Donald T. Malone, where I learned from knocking on neighbors’ doors that he lies buried in a simple pine box.

It didn’t end there. Upon my return home to the Village of Stowe, I wrote a long, scathing letter to Father Collins and cc’d all the Stepinac faculty and alumni I could find. A few days after sending mine, I received this email response:

Subject line: Complaint against Fr. Malone
Date: August 22, 2017, 3:26 PM
Sender: Edward T. Mechmann
cc: Sr. Eileen Clifford
Camille Biros (legal counsel hired along with Kenneth Feinberg by Cardinal Dolan to negotiate priest abuse settlements through the Independent Reconciliation and Compensation Program of the Archdiocese of New York)

Dear Ms. Grosvenor — I am the Safe Environment Coordinator for the Archdiocese of New York.  As such, I oversee the child protection programs of the Archdiocese. I was forwarded your recent letter to Fr. Thomas Collins.

First of all, on behalf of the Archdiocese, please permit me to express my deep regret and sorrow that your husband was abused by one of our priests.

I stop here. Stunned. Step up and away from my desk, hands raised, heart in my throat. What?

The sexual abuse of children and the ways in which these crimes and sins were addressed in the past have caused enormous pain, anger, and confusion. It has also led to awful tragedies like the death of your husband. No mere apology can rectify the harm that was done, but I hope that you will accept it in the spirit of profound sorrow in which it is offered.

Wait. Let me back up… that your husband was abused by one of our priests. I saw this coming, didn’t I? I sought this truth out. But now that it’s here, in writing, a fact, I’m overcome with a tingling of nerves and tightening of the chest that resembles shock. I gain enough composure to keep reading the letter.

Last year, in establishing the Independent Reconciliation and Compensation Program of the Archdiocese, Cardinal Dolan said “The program we are establishing today will, please God, help bring a measure of peace and healing to those who have suffered abuse by a member of the clergy of this archdiocese… As this Year of Mercy nears its conclusion, it is only appropriate that we take this opportunity to follow Pope Francis and once again ask forgiveness for whatever mistakes may have been made in the past by those representing the Church, even by us bishops, and continue to seek reconciliation with those who have been harmed and feel alienated from the Church.”

It isn’t clear from your letter to Fr. Collins whether you have already filed a claim with the Independent Reconciliation and Compensation Program. If not, I urge you to do so as soon as possible. You can find all the information you need at the IRCP website (https://www.nyarchdiocese-ircpsettlementprogram.com/) and you can begin the claim process by following the link to “register for Phase II of the program”. Ms. Camille Biros of the IRCP is already aware of your complaint, and can send you all the necessary materials to process your claim, once you formally register.

We will also have our Victim Assistance Coordinator, Sr. Eileen Clifford, contact you to see if there is anything we can do to help you. Sr. Eileen is out of the office until the end of August, so you will be hearing from her soon after she returns. Sr. Eileen is being copied on this email, in case you would like to contact her directly.

I am also available in case you would like to speak to me about your complaint. My contact information is below, and you should feel free to reach out to me by phone or email if you would like to speak to me.

Again, please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your husband and the suffering that you and your children have experienced. I assure you that you are in our prayers.

Prayers, deep regret and sorrow don’t quite cut it. My husband, the father of four children, is dead.

Sincerely in Christ,
Edward T. Mechmann, Esq.
Director of Safe Environment
Archdiocese of New York
1011 First Avenue
New York, NY 10022
646-794-2807

“Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Cor. 10:31)

An message in the email chain from James P. McCabe, Esq., (@archny.org), most likely included by accident read:

Thanks Ed.  Very nice letter.  I think she has filed. I sent you the filing earlier today password “mccabe1”. I am CC’ing John Cahill who was in this mornings email string. 
Thanks for getting right on this. 
Jim

Sent from my iPhone